Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Extracted from Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars
just kinda reminisce on the old dumb pop songs so uploaded 98degrees. darn boyband la. well, anyone everyone should listen about Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars. the lyrics are fuckin well written. ('',)
days in sispec are not passing as fast as we used to think so. the unity in the platoon is not as cohesive as the platoon during BMT. seriously, i missed all my those fucked up buddies in BMT who dies together everyday. anyway, this's gonna be my 7th week in SISPEC soon. den 8th den 9th and finally 10th and tats Basic Section Leader Course. and tata!! will be posted to other places or other units for another course before becoming a sergeant. for those who wants to become a commander in sispec or wad, think thrice and dont be brainwashed away by your PC in BMT. its plain dumb. i made a wrong move and now in this shit hole with rest of my frends who complained as much as me. with all mentioned, im just enduring my next few weeks.
had some navigation in lower mandai this week. living up to reputation, my whole detail went "hor-lan" almost died inside the forest. tat was a rainy day too. visibility was poor like nobody's business. we all lamented our past lives were owed to the army and now we are paying them back. we saw the poisonous green snake and the tree thorns never let me go still. next week will be having some section training in tekong; field camp for some days. sigh.
den next next week's saturdae will be having section live firing. u noe shooting live rounds with your own section people and chionging together. sounds fun but freaking hell dangerous. not worrying for myself but heart's in the mouth of my section. we all are blur fucks la. well tat week dictates if i still can see myself going past a 20th birth day. next next next week. so "fortuntate" will be having a great birthdae with the army at tekong. sigh for 2nd time. already praying super hard tat still can book out during the late night. even the latest midnight. doesnt matter man. but well, there is no such kind of welfare. sigh+ fuck.
PS: its not we are not man and cant take army life. its tat all of us are sick of this type of life.
HARDCORE PERIOD
Historical at : 7:00 PM
sometimes since i last blogged. alright.
last last week was by far my most diligent week ever.
though how much complaints i have abt my sispec life, i was appointed leader platoon sergeant for my platoon of 40 people. fucked up cos have to command them and make sure they do their things. you noe those commander stuff. i hate shouting at ppl or rush him. hence, i was just kinda welfare but kena fucked upside down by my sergeants. well..
in two days, i burst into joys when my staff sergeant said i could pass my rank to another trainee in my platoon. but within few mins, a new rank is handed to me. the leader sergeant major. LSM of the company. highest rankin trainee in company and guess wad, im gonna lead the company, which i already did last week. 170 people under me to command. stressed and almost dead. almost. imagine parade commandin the whole company. zzzz. den sunday i was the guard duty for coy; had to book in early. damn. fuckin shagged out in my entire life man.
this week was a fast one. everything was all packed. everyday was like 5 hrs of sleep. went navigating in the mandai forest. half body was immersed and swimming like a retarded duck in the mud. thorns of the trees raped almost everyone and im a "hor-lan" king. haaaa..
the hard days are over since coming days are holidays. muahhaha.
Historical at : 9:01 PM
Historical at : 1:39 AM
8 more weeks to go.
and smack that! will complete my basic section leader course! cheers : )
funny since people often says this two years are for reflecting wad to do in future.
till now, im still lost. but im sure so are the rest. servin the army certainly makes one grow though where all your freedom are deprived, it makes u think and regret lots of things that you had not done properly in life. if things werent so complicated and tempo of life wun be so fast den that would be great. our phases of life are just like predetermined already. darn. oh well, craps aside and life moves on...
sometimes things dont run so smoothly as it suppose to be. sometimes things happen in the way you dont want to. just like living on a boulevard of broken dreams. trust what you feels most. if you thinks its right, den no one should be able to stop you in doing.
2weeks passed and trillion days not seen, not met. heartache and excruciating pain un-felt. and to come with a sorrowful decision whom no one could comprehend. so near yet so far. time's not ripe and plentiful things left undone. above the scrawny shoulders lies with tons and tons of weights. but things are not ended yet ; they are not.
im just not ready.
Historical at : 4:44 PM