the history

2007-09-25T23:46:00.000-07:00

MOVED!!!

To :

http://blackpolitics.livejournal.com/

2007-09-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

I SEE YOU!

2007-09-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

ITS OVER. MY CONSTRUCTION ARE FINALLY DONE.

After the painstaking days of constructing this small house and a little theory test. yaaa theory omg. how long ago since i last touch a pen? Its finally over.

Back to lecture days the next week. yay//

In the day around 8 + am, as my higher superiors were talking about the next year's Thailand trip, dark intuition tells me i cant run away. The sobriety of the moment settles on me like white-hot phosphorus when i heard May 11th 2008.

Confirmed.

had supper just now. Satay. chicken, beef, mutton. i dont know lah. supper with recollection of the past. plentiful of jokes. we all are childish bitches man. I feel full now and i need that RU YI oil. its something for babies when they are too full. and the advertisement show this lil girl fart. haha. i thought tat smell nice. smelling nice.

thats one immutable rule of my life.

;)

2007-09-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

In construction.

2007-09-17T01:20:00.000-07:00

You guys believe in after life?

Was my chill-session's topic man. i was wondering if we will be put into one dimension together and HEY! SO COINCIDENTAL AH! yahh like this. hah. we all will die man.

most of my friends are 21. soon to be me. and this feeling isnt really great. it really means more responsibilities. im not tryin to shirk any or escaping from reality but how could i value-add my life with so many craps right now in such present world.

what will be spore like in 40 yrs time when im 60?
i see two ''durians'' at city hall.

will i see two "mangoes" at woodlands one day?
since they are all tropical fruits.

fuck, i know this blardy lame.

seriously, how many is taking a step at a time?

You know what. When i was young, i was so aspired to become a lawyer. i love my lower secondary school debates. i do research. i chose to be last speaker in debate team. i love to speak up and argue all the way. i dont care how the hell the opposition make things right. i want it wrong.

on the other hand, i wanted to be in the Criminal Investigation Department. joke right. imagine i checking out suicidal, rape, scam cases. i could picture that out. i will look real retard. but i told myself. dude tat could be in your blood man. investigating and nail the god-damn fucker down. u'll see me wearing my shades sitting in a car sipping some hot chocolate drink.

as i grow up, i chose accountancy my career.
what the fuck. i felt this was my greatest gamble in my life man. it was like i showhand. i study tat and got a paper with some cheap ink on it when i paid several ks. yet, 3yrs of real youth were well spent there. worth.

lawyer to police to accountant.
now i wanna see the world.
i will try to fly.

but how long?

Conclusion, we only live once.

2007-09-12T00:35:00.000-07:00

Chill

Hamza & Mckenzie

House in Construction.

Everyday I'm as good as a Banglad.

Minus that "N''. I'm ORD-ING man.

In 9 bloody mths time.

Everyday is raining. The screws in my brain are loose.

2007-09-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

Im living such a wtf life. Check out this pair of short legs.

Boots out!

Who says all this are for Banglad?

Homeys, Im building a home man. A home in a building. How cool is that.

This was initally full bag of rocks. It got on my nerves as i dig pails and pails out.

More to come as days goes by...

2007-09-05T23:25:00.000-07:00

Chill

Fried Tofu (4 out 5)
I wonder what was the laps i swam for just now.

I checked out some hot islands at some bookstore today. This one place i loved most. i will get married there. Santorini, Greece.

This most happening guy living in spore, Dave Teo. he is earning my respect. i feel for him. swear. i so feel for him. he must be out of his mind and i dont know how how what-the huge amount of courage he had for such act. but i feel for him man. dude its not worth it. not worth for such girl such relationship. i seriously hopes law goes easy on you man. you and i share common interest. i like your BAPE man. i guess you just felt fuck lost. dude, i feel for you. and if there is any petition, i will sign for you.

2007-09-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

Lunch Time

Chill

Buffalo Wings sucks. (1 out 5)

I love this cookie most. White Chip Macademia Nuts. By Subway. so nice.

Tiong Bahru Market. ;)

Avocadro Nata De CoCo (2 out 5)

Too sweet and it tasted so funny laa.

Check this out.

This one holy BUN MAN (5 out of 5!!!)

IM SUCH A FUSS WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD. hahaha.

time to hit the gym!

2007-09-04T01:56:00.000-07:00

It was harmless.
.

Till We came.

Dudes i know how to get 2 drinks for price of 1 man. im sorry the above is a bad example. greediness killed us. we were tryin four bottles. lol

2007-09-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

finally recovering.

2007-08-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

i hate rainy days. it made me sick. and i just got a fever so bad ive to pop panadols. i hate medicine.

where art thou, sunshine?

2007-08-29T02:00:00.000-07:00

if you dont see her, you will miss her.

when with her, you are very happy.

2007-08-23T01:53:00.000-07:00

im BACK TO STUDYING DAYS!
its not 9pm. its 10pm. crazy fucks.
all day long at SP. SP SP SP. SP says no to flip-flops. wtf.

HAPPENING!

i went down MACRITCHIE RESERVOIR at the most weird time, 2200 PM. muahaha. i dont know why im there for, but my crazy 7 years bitches; lun & shao forced my ass there. downthere, we turned ghostbusters. walked the 2.4km jungle trail, self-proclaiming as RANGERS. the whole place was pitch black man. i was cursing and swearing abt spider webs. i mentioned before its spider urine. fuck eh. BUT, this some adrenaline boost thing man, better than viagra. mind you, its the 7th MONTH SOMEMORE.

Chill at Prata House later.

alrights now im tagged. fuck la.

List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for:

1) I look younger than Andy Lau when Im that old as him without any Botox.
2) My mum to be the super healthiest and happiest person living on earth.
3) Fly as Steward by next year.
4) Earn loads enough for my mum to turn tai-tai but she still has to wash my clothes.
5) Time magazine cover page. (muahahaha)

1. The person who tag you is?
Lijuan. u watch out ah.

2. Your relationship with her is:
My ex-gf's friend. haappening. i went her house to play with her dog before.

3. Your 5 impressions of her:
-Her dog is cuter than her but u cute la k. Its name is Yuka. I think Yuka has grown up and forgotten me.
-Emotional girl. U read her blog u noe.
-Your girl-next-door who will bitch around with her clique.
-Lazy. Ive seen her room before. I think mine's better. ( :) chill. my beauty sleep affected if u realise)
-A good Confidant.

4. The most memorable thing she had done for you?
By making do this. -.-

5. The most memorable words she had said to you?
i tagged u. i tagged u! do tis tagging game again hahahahha! refer to my blog k! :) mus do zhao! lol.

6. If she becomes your lover, you will?
Tell her everything is under control.

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
Give me YUKA first.

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I will not do this tag thing man.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
She turned crazy.

10. The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is?
Gave her immortality pills and bring her grandma back. cheese ;)

11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
Was gonna say great but i realise this tagging thing irritates me.

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?
I dont really care lah. you people got the say man.

13. The character you love of yourself is?
Most chilled.

14. On the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Unfortunately, too chilled also.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Someone who sits on the massage chair and chill there, watching Stephen Chow's movies and your wife came shouting at you, "GO AWAY LA! you cannot see i cleaning ah!" you replied back, " eh i retire liao ok, let me relax awhile", slurping some Teh-Tarik.

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them.
I will thank YOU ALL when i receive some award on national TV. you bitches rock my world.

For people whom i've hurt:
Lunch?

For people whom i love and treasure:
I will thank YOU ALL when i receive some award on national TV. you bitches rock my world.

17. pass this quiz to 10 person that you wish to know how they feel about you.

1) Aidah

2) Angeline

3) Ashika

4) Hamza

5) Kailin

6) Sabrina

7) Shaoyan

8) Shawn

9) Wenyan

10) Yandan

IM SORRY MAN. I THINK YOU PPL DO READ MY BLOG STILL DO U?

who is no.6 having relationship with?

I think single and available! are you? LONG TIME NV UPDATE ME .

Is no.9 a male or female?

Female.

If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?

Why not? Its male and female. LEAST NOT MALE MALE, FEMALE FEMALE.

How bout no.8 and 5?

Why not? Its male and female. LEAST NOT MALE MALE, FEMALE FEMALE.

What is no.2 studying about?

Speech therapy.

When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?

Yesterday?

What kind of music band does no.8 like?

5566. WAHAHAHAHHAHA. those were the days man.

Does no.1 has any siblings ?

LOTS.

Will you woo no.3 ?

Shes happily attached.

How about no.7 ?

I love this bitch man. hes my 7years gay bitch.

Is no.4 single ?

SINGLE LIKE MAD. always act as if hes attached. ha ha ha.

What is the nickname of no.10?

Ya Dan. Salted Egg.

What is the hobby of no.4?

I think right now is playing his piano and trying to outclass Lee Hom.

Do no.5 and 9 get along well?

Oh they're like sisters.

Where is no.2 studying at?

Aussie man.

Talk something casually about no.1?

SHES GONNA BE A TEACHER! respect. bow*

Have you try developing feelings for no.8?

This is getting gay man.

Where does no.9 live at?

Yishun.

What color does no.4 like?

Red.

Are no.5 and 1 best friends?

Strangers!

Does no.7 likes no.2?

Oh this's hot stuffs during secondary times.

How do you get to know no.2?

Cos i poke my nose into the hot stuffs during secondary times?

Does no.1 have any pets?

Nah. No right aidah?

Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?

Hes hell gay man.

Ps: i hate u lijuan.

-.-

2007-08-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

CHEESE!

YAY! gonna handover my standby duties next week. ha ha ha. standby standby standby. wait wait & wait. how fun. the STUPIDITY factor.

last week there was an outcamp run at Kent Ridge. 3km and there was a heavy downpour. some ran like mad to complete the 6km. i slow jog.....h haa slow walk. after the whole event, there was BANANAS & 100 plus distributed. wtf. bananas. i was wearing the PT kit representing my unit. i already looked like one tall 1.78m banana. so there was like many "bananas" walking around after the run.

but life so bored i started talkin hardcore rubbish to one of my pioneers in the mrt.

B1: Are u thinking what Im thinkin?

B2: (He laughed)

we didnt complete what B1 & B2 usually says to one another.
ha ha i felt fucking childish.

Weekends, i went for some Pizza BUFFET.. nothing much. just merely 14 slices. u noe like 2 and 1/3 Regular pans. nothing much. i just felt like vomitting dough throughout some taxi ride. watched the fireworks. its amusing how the hosts try to make fun of young kids nowadays. they made them looked retard. competing one another's knowledge on the mrt stations in Spore.

One says Novena. One says Khatib. One says Yio Chu Kang. the other One says Toa mo kio.
yeahh that kid screw his life up.

Manchester City 1-0 Manchester United.
ha ha so fucked up. but ive no comments after i saw how Lehmann conceade the blackburn goal. he looked like a bitch fishmonger at some wet market. the ball just SLIPPED OFF HIS hands.

Poly Days start tml.
yay.

MONDAY 1-9pm. TUES back CAMP. WED 1-9pm. THURS 1-5pm. FRI 1-5pm.

one to nine. crazy fucks.

2007-08-10T23:48:00.000-07:00

BORING BORING BORING.

i didnt realise boredom maketh a man.

i didnt realise im growing old till i saw i think its wrinkles. i dunno. i dunno whats wrinkles. do all people have that when they hit double digits?

i take it as a bloody yes.

as mentioned i didnt have the chance of entertaining huge crowds on the actual national day because of standby, i ended up dining with my super dooper ultra gay specialists' mates. i see them six days a week. if i i ever turn gay, they are the reasons why. fark. with supported reasons that my bed is always a special gathering place for all to come and lie. fark. the so-called " kwui-sio" in coarse hokkien language. every night is terrible. i wished i could change bedsheet every hour.

as i grow older, i tend to be grumpy too. i hate spider webs. especially those as if it will fly with the wind. whenever it fucking flies in my face, i go really mad. really so pek cek and paranoid that more spider webs flyin towards me.. yaa i hate spider webs. its spiders' urine lah fuck.

more illnesses too. i just recovered from TB-alike cough. a so bad cold till now. sigh.

i think its time i retire.

2007-08-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

guess what.

im not going on the actual national day. sigh.
my platoon is unfortunately assigned to be the standby force ready to be activated anytime.
& when i booked out on weekends, ive to carry a stupid pager with me anywhere i go.

watched the English Community Shield yesterday.
chilled at Orchid Country Club with Husnul, Hamza, Andrew & Anthony.
Had red wine along with it.

after NDP, i will be clearing some off and sept i will in SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC for construction course. ha ha ha. back to poly days.

;)

2007-07-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

after scoring seven goals in 4 games yesterday at the streetsoccer court,
i sprained my left ankle.

-.-

met up John, Mckie, Yisheng.
Chilled with John & Yisheng at Amk till 2am.
conversations were all about army laa.
dammn.

met up eugene & shao.
another slack session.

sigh. 11 more mths. ive cleared all my physical stuffs. yay.

2007-07-23T00:38:00.000-07:00

I aint no paedopliac internet predator.

But this one great school of girls. good culture.

CHIJ St Nicholas Girls

tata. that end of my National Education shows. my 5th show in fact

I watched Knocked Up yesterday. hilarious.

my life is missing something man.

2007-07-23T00:25:00.000-07:00

things get so funny.

2007-07-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

sunny today.

one of my bunk mates called me early, disrupting my beauty sleep that started 5 hours ago from now. what a fucker! anyway. having platoon chalet later on. ;)

last week was really packed with activities. many things to do and there are often times you need a breather.

cleared my 2nd year's SOC. yay. this SOC is a killer. trust me many army personnels often failed this sort-called playground and goes for retraining. in my SISPEC days, i failed a total of 15 times. then, ETI days, i failed 2 more times. When I arrived at 30 SCE, i failed one more time. Homeys, i failed a total of 18 times. Thats how i always tell my pioneers, nothing is impossible. anyway compared to the first year timing of 9:16, i grabbed an 9:06 this time. i Smelled "O" already. muhahaa. im gonnaa smell "R" and "D" soon once i take my IPPT and combat shoot.

I spent some time queuing up for donuts at Suntec. yeahh. Donut Factory just opened another outlet at Suntec. I thought i just saw some familar scenes of Hello Kitty from MacD. I couldnt agree less that the donuts were awfully great but i believed there's not a need to clear almost everything on the shelves? oh well, i queued up for 1hr & 45mins. the donuts was for my mum.

then was my first National Education Show with Chongfu Pri.

New kids on the block.

kids getting seated.

Ive watched the parade four times already.

Yesterday spent the day at one of my pioneer's house. was his 21st birthday. hell drank almost all shit; Carlsberg, Martell, White Wine. head so pain laa after tat. met up shawn & sheila, watched the retarded Potter show. hardcore boring man. so much conversations in the show.

k gonna prepare chalet!

2007-07-14T00:50:00.000-07:00

seen two inspiring movies this week.

one's about an american football coach called Sean Porter that grooms his team make up of drugs lords, problematic teens, robbers. heartwarming show by The Rock, cant remember his god damn name la. but wonderful.

just watched Coach Carter by Samuel L. Jackson. Failing students that play basketballs, deal with drugs.

all this shows are great man.

2007-07-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

spent weekends with my gay buddies, gene, shao & lun.

morning soccer as usual.
riverside indonesian restaurant.
jugs of beer.
had a great day on sun.

today was another gay day with them. im so accustomed to civilian life lah. damn.

watching the Campus Superstar. wao Keely is so hot laa. ;)

2007-07-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

updates!

watched the combined rehearseal 3 for NDP last saturday.
thumbs up! thumbs up!
minus the hardwork and fatigue and day before COS duty.
the primary 5 kids really get you high man.

haha.

will be taking Chongfu and CHIJ St Nic in coming weeks.

will bring you pics on the excitement.

2007-06-18T05:27:00.001-07:00

random.

was clearin up rubbish everywhere my desk. happened to look through all de presents ive received in past. got darn emotional when u read those letters over again. luff like a retard when i saw tat TIGER beer can tat my twin gave me. ha ha ha when reviewin de last words of SBM pageant. lols. those were really de days man.

high.

ndp is comin to town. will be at de waterfront weekly.
CHIJ St Nicholas & St Margaret will be the schools Im in charge. ya gonna rock my Aug man.
he heh heh. no more outfieelds.
no more digging of shellscrapes or watever blah blah insects.
last week exercise was like the show 300.
we, 300 soldiers against millions of mosquitoes.

fuck.

intoxicated.

Boat Quay.
Chivas Regal on saturday night was good.
dominated the pub's KTV. muahaha.

alright about to book in.

2007-06-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

draggy night trainings last week.

flea market.
road bicycles parts.
aint cheap. gonna cost hundreds, thousands.
search still on.

for me, every ride is a race.

good market food at bugis.
Kway Chap. i forget de name.
Rochor Tau Huey.

chillin moments after groceries shop.

morning sunday soccer.
boring.
which will be same as few hours later.

f.

2007-06-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

was relatively a long break after de fuck exercise. recovering from de infected eye. came along the foot rot that never heals on de left leg. right ankle crippled with excess bones. blue-black bruises after some soccer game today even though i sounded like some partially handicapped bitch already before it. yay. we all only live once. im doing what i like at all risks man. fuck it lah.

but
three words,

gan du lan.

Complete Solution for soft lens screwed their damn selves up and making me going blind soon. bloody ku ku. had to plan for Lasik Surgery soon also. all sorts of shit lah tat cost so financially terrible then tell you NOT 100% ONE YOU KNOW. but de brochure so done up nicely its just like some invitation to treat advertisement. well, im kind of into it unfortunately though i see my friend had to keep applyin eye drops. its so gan du lan.

days back. suppose to have some OUTCAMP RUN at west coast. more of food galore at clementi foodstalls first. GO there and find the CHEN JI KE JIA NIANG DOU FU, hot stuff man. however, heavy rain got our asses covered. took a cab down only to realise ITS CANCELLED. u see some fucked faces around. some blissful bastards. some filled with resentment. like mine. pissed off, the new batch of 3rd sergeants went down to de Caribbean Condo to take a dip in de pool. yay. better.

i dont know and i really dont know what else i done in past few days. my eye just got this sting in it i dont knoww ww how shitty i can explain it. i only know im gonna hate it booking in tommorrrowwww holy night. monday blues shall just be carried forward to tuesday too.

den wednesday.

thursday.

friday..

just another historical fuck entry.

2007-06-01T02:32:00.000-07:00

ohewww.
back from a small exercise but almost took my life.
slept 2 hrs in 2 days. my brain is like rotting inside.
my left eye swollen and had to endure bacterial infection.
small old shit.

its june already. few days later i will be a ONE YEAR OLD SOLDIER.

365++ days to ORD. yeah ;)

ive been watchin alot of nice TV drama serials; even in camp. theres this one, MARS vs VENUS. i try not to miss it as much as possible. its nice larr. plus there this song by Redwan Ali " Would You Be There? " yay. ive uploaded here.

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

...
..
.

yeah emotional right.
cos u dont know how much i miss you.

lots.

2007-05-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

just served two duties concurrently last week. damn.

shaved much of my hair. irritated with hair since cant really keep much too.

damn going for exercise next week. boo.

damn living under trees. damn fighting sandflies.

damn fighting mosquitoes.

damn hatred for spider webs.

sounds damn pusssy.

but im a singaporean. so god damn.

i found this song. WO YI WEI by LEE SHENG JIE. nice lar.

2007-05-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

sigh. shagged.

so many duties to do, exercises to look forward to.

then, had a talk today. study or work first?
OR study & work together?

i realise de outcome is about how shagged can it be.

god damn fuck life.
even when shop around, u hear aunties complaining to u how lucky u are able to get more money for the GST OFFSET Package.

wtf.

as if its my fault. need a break man.

2007-05-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

did guard duty on thursday in de more adverse weather conditions.
first whole day was freaking hot. it was just like an open oven. felt medium cooked.
didnt sleep for whole damn night.
friday morning was not friendly too. started pouring heavy rain. my red tanned skin was all soaked. back to nap for awwhile. felt like a dead fish.

not really sure if i did sleep. could hear noises everywhere in de head. tsk. tsk.
nevertheless, decide to go down MOS. saw Joy's korean gf. she flew over here. yeah. love love. guess love knew no distance too. anyway hated night life as usual. missing my bed for de first time.

sat went shopp ard in town.
chill at Caesars.

sat early morning 430am. woke up and vomitted. fuck.
tried to get back to sleep again. was alright till 730. realise got a slight fever. felt dead again.

went out in noon for groceries shopping. i love tat. i like visiting supermarkets.

ate porridge already.
gonna fall sick soon i guess.

chao.

2007-05-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

watched 200 pounds beauty.

wept in de theatre man. very touching.
nice nice show.
yeah here ive uploaded the OST for de show.

few hrs time to cry again.
fuck place to go. every sun.

2007-05-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

yeah i miss this dumb penguin at Bangkok.

ALMOST DIDNT wanna book in on wednesday. just wanna fly off to another country man. Fuck la.

sprained de side ankle again. boring. had to massage later.. argh.

2007-05-02T02:30:00.000-07:00

yeah. im back.

BOOKING IN CAMP IN FEW HOURS TIME.

f u c k.

2007-04-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

FLY FLY.

its SAWADEE KA time......

im gonnnaaaa travel all over this planet earth.

;)

2007-04-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

damn.

not yet prepared for tml's trip yet.
tsk tsk.

fuck. had to report back camp later noon for some meeting. sigh.

Zzzzzzzzz

2007-04-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

midnight.

boo! so bored.
getting emotional man.
tsk tsk.
-.-

last friday was nearby esplanade. Doing de stuffs for Engineer Formation blah blah.. stage on water.. place was quite big.. alot of construction still undergoing. so much waitin time i tanned myself ludicrously mad. sigh. "AWOL" for awhile into Marina Square. Omg. freedom freedom. i damn need this freedom man.

F R E E D O M

it ended 8 plus pm.

Will be there on Tml and Tues too.

ahhh. Saturday. Watched my first R21 movie. The Hills have Eyes 2. fucktard. STRONG VIOLENCE AND GORE. so much killings only damn it. disappointment la. Azabu Sabo ( oops i forget the fuck name) 's lychee icecream taste very nice too. so are dark chocolates. im havin a cravin for those just like pregnant women.

At Caesars.
;)

Den late night singing at Party World.
felt super retarded when i have to wake up at late noonnnn.

Today, brought mum to Crystal Jade for dinner.

ahhh,

F R E E D O M

well im travellin to thailand next week. gonna miss plenty ppl.

2007-04-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

decided to change a blogskin after de previous one got some fuck errors to it.
dont understand why. time's always running out for me, management towards time always cocked up; this's supported by the numerous times ppl wait for me.

my nuah-ness in front of this LCD monitor was somehow overwhelming, i cant be bothered changing much of de HTML so it will look somehow fucked up but its alright lahh i will be back next weekend and do a much better job. or anyone kind enough to do a lil adjustments for me i can buy u a drink. yes.

anyway. chillax.

de general here just made a soldier cry last week.
though how nuah i was and de way i talk was so relax, he thought i was gonna beat him up. wtf. i was almost made to cut articles on interpersonal skills when i was in poly days. now i realised i need to do so before more soldiers misinterpret im gonna kill them.

i was just tryin to make him a better person.
fuck, it was only few sentences and it bring him down.

yeah. nice people are hard to be.

even my other specialists were too stunneddd b'cause for fuck sake, they tuat im de most dont-care-abt-anything sergeant, yet tey dunnnoo my men are most willing to fight for me. take for e.g. we shifted bunks last week. my men approached me and ask if i needed help in carryin the cupboards. its their own initiatives but they reminded me they will only help me and no other specialists. b'cause some specialists are so hypocrites and liars. they liked to play rank. its crap. afterall, we are all soldiers defending Singapore.

i fucking stood there, touched.

day out on fri night with my long lost BMT dudes.
so long never met yet all so retarded still...
hahhaa.. had funs and 4 30 AM i dunnno to call it breakfast or late supper at HongKong Cafe.
had plenty to drink. a lil tipsy from de housepours.

sat night at Caesars.
place i chilled every sat.
some beer to get life going.
some fist guessing to get life going.

yeahh.. time's running out again.
move or AWOL bitch.

2007-04-13T04:32:00.001-07:00

"General .. "

this what im called in camp nowadays.

Yet, this General is so weak in de inside.

Back. back from a lot of endurance.

Off to meet up BMT friends.
Chill..

2007-04-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

been chilling.

including a sweet escape to de zoo.

including beers & alcohol.

life's at stake.

- concoction of Guinness stout, Pepper, Chilli, Cooking Wine, 2 fresh eggs
- 5cans of beer

hell's almost there already.

- Hoegaarden any?

chill.

- Vodka Cranberry, Bottle of Tequila at 40% with Orange Juice

my dear friend. are you awake yet?

money is not everything.

2007-04-06T00:42:00.000-07:00

its an irony that a problematic sergeant had to counsel his men.

my men wrote peer appraisals for us. its always amusing to read at what they comment. for me, its those gay crap which i normally dont fuck care..i do my part my role..i teach.. tey wrote nice sergeant lah. good lah. something even better will be for e.g. sergeant interact with the platoon alot. always help us. something hilarious will be some wrote chinese, " yi ge hao ren". yah as if im some HK mafia boss..anyway its ultra gay. theres also remarks abt me saying im a dont-care-to-everything sergeant, forever play punk, stating im an ah beng. zzzzz...ok but overall was kinda of pleasing to see everyone happy, even when i told them to call me General. They gladly do. well, seeing other ppl happy do cheer u up a little. Trust me.

then, one moment. saw one of my man weeping. such a similar sight my men seen from me days back only. immediately i know whats wrong. my instincts were right. bull's eye.

im gonna protect his privacy. anyway, talked to him for fucking long hours & days. asshole. he better dont waste my saliva. such a good girl, wife material. he better dont throw away god's gift. all gods bless this man of mine.

im achieving things almost every moment. making one of men who fear heights to clear obstacles with heights. it took 2 days. each day just standing there waitin and talkin to him for 1hr 30 mins. hokkien to english to chinese to malay. vulgarities to proverbs to even half fuck standard idioms. its those swee swee counselling u wont get outside.

he jumped. fell. landed on knees. its sand; no pain.

yeah. i smiled.
because the first thing i heard from him was,

"thank you sergeant."

hope you are happy.

2007-04-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

and how much the terrible boyfriend screwed up his relationship.

it ended.

man's ego were forsaken since de outburst in front of his men.
for it was all deserved.

he was not worthy afterall.
even how much he love her, it was all off beam.
Sorry

misery immeasurable
pain accumulated

in a world of darkness, he repent.
for all he is asking boldly is tat 2nd.....

2007-04-01T01:15:00.000-07:00

today, i've lost my love.

2007-03-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

I Miss You So Much.

2007-03-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

shawn showed me this crap and it kinda of showed which celebrity u looked like.

2007-03-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

everybody makes mistakes.
being wrong in past does not mean being condemned for life as long as he is repentful wad.
sometimes just step in his shoes.
help carry a little weight on his shoulders.
just share a little sorrow of his.
just a little understanding.
and talk to him maybe just a little?
or if asking too much, just love him a little just tell him tat little?

it will just be a little close to perfect.

and that little will make a big difference.

Puny. Frailed.
I need a shoulder to lean on too.

2007-03-11T20:55:00.001-07:00

daily routines for duty sergeant.

having 18 men under you is similar to having 18 babies under you.
every single life you are responsible for.
every single's character and traits.
everyone you groom under you and made sure their wings cant fly and they dont climb on your head.

oh well.
16months to ORD.

whats my future then?

2007-03-07T00:47:00.000-08:00

almost drop my beret today when gettin off de cab. almost lose something again.

lose out in ranking of top 10% of 60 ppl cohort. was ranked no.7. losin something once more.

but anyway,

99.

thanks. was a happy man today.

;)

graduation tomorrow.

2007-03-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

Surprise?

Life is full of revelations.

Just book out yesterday and here I am. BOOK OUT lo. Futile anyway.
Well, there is no free meal on this world. Tomorrow is my rehearsal for Wed Graduation parade. yeahh.. at Nee Soon Cammppp.. so much for a soldier.

What a hollow parade. It doesn't matters.

Played a soccer match today. I hate losing. It doesn't matter if we were thrased 5-10. But everything just starts losing my way. Was crestfallen. Life so down yet more unhappy things. my right toe was like crashed over by the stud of the opponent's boots. my unprotected right shin hit of them too and result some big bump.

my toe cant move till now.

selected to take over as duty sergeant today. take the men of 18. concentrate on teaching them stuffs that i know. i didnt realise i drifted myself away as i talked on. i actually told them stripping the rifle was much more easier than understanding a girl. they looked dumbfolded.

"fuck, what is my sergeant talkin shit."

probably.
i had been building sandcastles for many days.

I slept with eyes open last night.

I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy.

Yes, I need you.

tml is a nice day. cos' it means alot of things.

2007-03-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

Gloomy.

day 1st. booking into Jurong Camp, trying to adapt to the new surroundings. lifes not so pleasant especially when you miss someone you love. day 2 came slow so is day 3. then, day 4. day 5 was excited, first book-out. but de truth is you get to see your loved one. yes u do.

tips on not getting old is to always smile.
tats what i did from day 1 to 5.

journey home was really long. de train never seemed to reach de end.
only when it reaches, den you realise its de end.

Trust.

Its such a strong word. Something that need alot of efforts to build it. Something you rely on, Something you hope or expect of something. There are many definitions to Trust. But how many can actually practically define it?

Unfortunately, I couldnt.
Neither thereotically nor practically.

An angry man is a fucking loser man. I experience it. You tend to speak unsympathetic & callous words, basically is almost similar to farting through the mouth.

It stinks.

You don't think. The whole brain system just shut down. Only after you had said, you realise, " Man you should have banged your head against the wall and just get run over by all racing cars at F1. " Rage controlled the total me.

Does it means can do anything u like?
Say anything u like?

Dude, wake up.
Yes, im fumin still. As much as I hate myself saying those things, you just gotten yourself star-crossed, knowing such a boyfriend. I detest myself calling the names. If every unnecessary dreadful memories and words alleged can be erased, I swore I dont mind struck by the lightning.

Mr Assume?
You thought, I think, Who confirm?
Always right?
Yeah rightfully wrong always.
Trust, respect, understandin?
Nothing.

Wake up.
Stop lying there just in disgrace.

My heart aches more than any old man's rheumatism problems. My eyes are well washed, free from bacteria. But i abhor red eyes. haha. i sound so screwed.

No.
I'm really dejected.

Next wednesday, 070307 will be my graduation parade at Nee Soon Camp. Nobody will be at de parade anyway. Well, happy 21st Hamza on tat day. We getting old man. Happy gettin whackin in camp.

Do I still have a backdoor to your heart?

I love you.

2007-02-26T01:28:00.000-08:00

this blog is turning stale.

matter of fact, i forgot my password. yahh how stupid. but well, i had got it back, with some luck of cos. ive forgotten parts of my life already. i only remembered its Happy Chinese New years to allll you people. everyone stayed blissful. gamblers bear in mind " Character Good, Cards Good " as extracted from some Andy Lau's movie. students u continue mug till u raise de white flag. nsf soldiers buddies, its next year to ORD. haha.

finally. course finished. im posted to Jurong Camp as combat engineer specialist. engineers build bridge la, lay mines la, carry out demolition plans la, im field engineer which means abundant of outfield also la. aye, many many responsibilities. ;)

met up shawn, hamza, andrew, mckenzie. been some times dudes.
de holy pool days.
bullshit and loads of bullshit. full of bullshit floodin even the chingay.
i wonder wads de chingay for anyway.

alright enlistin new camp tml. new status. new beginning.

-always forgive & forget before its too late.
though there was quarrels, & words could fall around your ears, hurtin for years & years, & u gonna remembered it for life though there were no angst but if i haf found de right words to say, all this wun start at all. I'd tell you you're safe and take hold of your hand. I'll be there by your side for the rest of your life.

2007-02-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

my pretty nieces.

2007-02-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

im depleted.

last week i went through two field camps in a row. yah lah so happy lah. everyday sleep so many minutes of sleeeeep. i think first field camp, we came back late and i got abt 4 hours of sleep. 2nd field camp i got 15minutes of sleep. so happpy lahhhhhh i almost die. im ready to load my weapon magazine of five rounds loaded and readyand shoottt BANG BANG bangg!!! yah im dead. cos whole week i slept 5hrs + 4hrs +4hrs + 15mins..

enduring all de shit and going literally loony, i booked out on saturdae with Red Bull on my mind. i got one, drank and felt stronger den before. its as good as guiness stout. superman is on a mission im gonna teach my girl statistics which is tested on wednesdayy. on the train, my eyeballs are rolling. eyes balls are left right big or small i dunnno. red and wateryi saw shadows everywhere. lol. but i told myself not to sleeep. okae i sucks. i manage to teach finish only de Price Index topic and i passed out dead. the end.

before i landed myself in dreamland, i set the alarm at 6 30 am. i didnt woke up. my girl didnt either. bolt from de blue, it was 12 when i woke up. holy. ate the so called brunch and went bck to continue a little on Linear Regression & Chi-Square. okae i sucks. time runs away so fast i cant even chase after it. sighhh...

den i started turning really stupid and worn out. my eyes doesnt look normally either. when two gets too bored mugging statistics. things turn out the wrong way.

lookin retarded.

k sleep time.bookin in tml morning. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2007-01-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

each time i blog an entry, it means im bookin in soon.
and each time i do so, i dont feel happy at all.
in fact, heartrending instead.
matter of fact, pretty emotional.
its as if i wont come out again, as if ... hmm.. i dunno. at this point of time, im loss for words.

being optimistic, NS not so bad afterall, because it allows u to meet different kind of ppl in this world. funny and uncanny ppl. they are just oblivious of what they are doing sometimes. i realise i just complain too much. i would love defending spore. i was elated when spore football team won last night against malaysia. not much reason but the feeling was great. im not tryin to be political here. but i guess de sense of belonging in this country is finally overcoming my long-lost freedom.

apparently, human spent most of their time wasted on sleeping. ok i agree u feel fabulous after rest, i agree sleepin allow u to run away from things too. i agree sleepin is like the best thing a human loong for after a tiring day. but imagine if we do not need to sleep, we could have 24hours full a day. and millions of things can be done if there is 24hrs.

im having a heartache now.
lol. literally yes. an acing heart.
i will be in camp when my girl turned 18 this coming tues.
oh yeah, i feel like fucked not being able to celebrate her birthday.
im like so..
loss for words again.

imagine all de accumulated feelings of dejected;emotional;throbbing and i dunno what-so-ever fucked i feel now. its so not nice now. last week was a terrible week. field camp with a swollen sore eye. its damn infuriating. all my uniforms were just like soaked in muddy soil. coming week is a week full of field camps. so much for a soldier.

Happy birthday Jacelyn ;)

2007-01-21T20:47:00.000-08:00

its never easy to find a reason to like NS.

so many days yet i cant find a simple one.
yet, million reasons to dislike it.
sigh. when can i ORD?
please release me.

its always a common sight to see some stand lonely, half-fuck, one leg standing, facing de ground as if there are cash. some looked as depressed as those in IMH; maybe those patients looked happier instead. some just lie on their bed contemplating. some just keep on packing their cupboards as if there are many clothes inside though. sad scenerios tats gonna happen in couple hours time.

heavily miss those time sitting outside Starbucks mugging.
those time squandering all the money away on pool.
those time in the computer labs playing CounterStrike.
those time defyin lecturers.
those time doing T, A , M , M ,Y dance in the north canteen. " tammy tammy all the way!!"

now, its all abt endurance. tolerating f ppl. swallowin tempers down.
im choked already actually.

i went through another level of hell this week. had a 2days 1 night field camp. was great. slept 2hrs. so nice. 2hrs fightin the snoring machine gun of some platoon mate. it was den i started to thank the ppl who invented ear plugs. with much delight, i smiled when the noise pollution had lessen. it was den the commandos mosquitoes came. i gave up. surrendered. as expected i was raped. commando mosquitoes showed no mercy at all. my universal O+ blood was much of a buffet to them. was boiled under the fiery sun de next day. almost fainted. did countless of fatigue work. store IC rem? i dont deserve such an "honour" . my buddy started to hallucinate on tues and never came back ever since. i tink he will be back todae. funny right, i tuat he was possessed. i sounded like a pussy soldier right. i remind your. im a suffering field engineer, not those driver sitting in the rover sleepin all day long. reported sick when came back. my right eye is sore. i guess im too heaty already. my back is pain too. de doctor is also "extremely" nice. he gave me one day light duties. came back from medical centre and tons of fatigue work lying in front me. i really surrendered. shoot me pls.

fatigue work are real sai kang. carrying this and tat from store. account the equipments inside. heavy like fuck. i tink my back pain is due to all this shit. for fuck responsibility i told myself, i carry on and tried to make sure things goes right in de end still. overjoyed when i knew the book out time. everyone were as if they are the fathers and their first baby were born in the operation room. all started to do area cleanin as if they never clean before; was even better den spring cleaning; some started to change to civilian clothes. den came instructions some had to go keep the tentage at the rugby field. Store IC has to follow.

light duties i reminded myself. yet, for fuck responsibility i told myself again, i dragged a totally despondent soldier there with a few more miserable souls. we keep the tentage; pull the strings, keep the poles as if a calamity was anticipated. finally, we booked out le.

i love my saturdae.
its was a 12hrs with her.
12 fruitful hours.

right now, ive got this song Usah Lepaskan by Taufik Batisah.
its totally emo certified.

Yang terindah
terlukis di bibir mu
tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu
sebegitu
pudar kah sudah cinta yang ku beri
berwarna warni segala
yang dijanjikan ia
Chorus
Usah biarku bersendirian
Usah biar hati mu di tawan
usah biar diri ku disini
seorang menunggu tanpa teman
Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu
usah biar semua berlalu
usah terlupa perasaan hati
pertama kali kita bertemu
Usah lepaskan
Bridge
Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu
ku ingin selalu bersama mu
Chorus
Usah biarku bersendirian
Usah biar hati mu di tawan
usah biar diri ku disini
seorang menunggu tanpa teman
Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu
usah biar semua berlalu
usah terlupa perasaan hati
pertama kali kita bertemu
Ku tak peduli apa sebabnya
engkau dan dia harus bersama
mendungnya langit bila berkata
kita patutnya masih bersama
Usah lepaskan
Usah lepaskan
Usah lepaskan

------
now the real shit
------

The most beautiful thing
is there on your lips
i've never seen you smile that way for me
has my love gone dry, you had to run to him
it sounds wonderful and nice
the future he's promising you
Chorus
Don't leave me here all alone
don't give your heart away to him
don't leave me standing here
alone waiting with nothing
Don't let go of my hand
don't throw everything away
don't forget the way we felt
the first time we met
don' let it go
Bridge
it's hard for me to just forget about us
i only wish to always be with you
i don't care what the reason is
you should be together with him
and i don;t even care if the heavens don't agree
you and me still be in love
don' let it go
don' let it go

------

oh yeah
i miss my girl now.
;(

2007-01-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

book out on friday, off for saturdae, sunday, and early monday.

why mon? because of de off in lieu they owe us when we booked out on sat last week. this week was horribly shiong. field engineers. non stop outfields. wtf. carrying numerous timbers, concertina wires or big zinc plates running from one end to another, under de Cat 1 conditions, heavy downpour ; dramatic flooding ; both ankles could be seen sunken into the soil ; some start to swim to remove items. exaggeratin right? flashes of lightning were seen, this where u see soldiers running like fanatics back to trainin sheds. we thought we were filmin saving private ryan, local edition.
oh well. soldier. memorable indeed. but once's enuff.
totally drained.

friday not so nice night.

saturdae not so nice morning.

saturdae not so nice noon.

down to a 21st birthdae chalet. wao. just a glimpse. everyone is gonna be 21 already this year. i still feel god damn not 21. well kinda of million things to reflect upon. was good. secondary sch friends got drunk suddenly. murmur rubbish, nerves not working.. amusing scene.

sundae morning came. my girl came down pasir ris to wait for me. ;)
i think having her is a greatest gift.

ate at marina square and saw potential catastrophic signs. probably gonna be end of tomorrow or wad do u call this. cos there this ass, nostradamus who predicted end of world or some armagedon. ah. lets look forward. he didnt got it right this time. though all those terror attacks he sort of got it.

well took a walk around.
bridal shops?
"wanna take a look at our wedding package?"
haha.
maternity shops?
Paint8?

haha.

todae is mondae. gonna meet my girl!!! oooo
however its book in day todae. sigh. a tough week awaits me.
cannot take it man especially tey say recruits' pay rise to 450 already.

fuck.

2007-01-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

4 days of holidays were like quite long before bookin in.
didnt wanted to go back camp. some friends were posted to other camps already so it was quite lonely and bored. new bunk mates; had to make new friends even though same camp. first day was quite sian. everybody just display on their expressions. we all noe. life really sucks.

always said, im like not servin the army, was 2yrs of life sentence.

i guess its just an obligation only. i guess my only reason y im had not play act any injuries ( chao keng) is tat i wan to protect my loved ones. sounds corny right. lol. but i think tats the only real meaning of servin army. nothing much more. how will feel getting screwed all day long, doing tons and tons and tons of fatigue work ( with shit luck was appointed store IC somemore), theoreotically meaning King of Fatigue Work. Fatigue work is also the a much beautiful phrase compared to words, " Sai- Kang" though both are the same. depress shit. going through some sad life.

always look forward for night to fall cos tat time will be on the bed with the already-5-weeks-never-changed-bedsheet tat carried my smell and saliva, haha talking to my girl. so nice lah. cos.. hmmm cos its just so peaceful and nice hearing to things i wanna hear no more those of yelling and screamin or cursing or spatting of vulgarities.

these wad one of my sergeant had analysed, u see how bored ppl tey are.

CB LAH : its means the person who scold this is angry. Very angry.

LANJIAO LAH: its mean the person disagree with wad you say.

e.g.
Person A go disturb Person B by pulling his hair.
Person B will scold?
ans is CB LAH and not LANJIAO LAH because he is angry.

outstanding.

following weekdays were equally depressing. dont wanna mention abt it. i struggled through again.

den reach saturdae. didnt book out on fridae. if there was a depression graph, u can see the abnormal fluctuation. sat there was a demolition live firing. woke up at 3 fuckin am. three
its a three. really almost wanted to just hang myself there and die. its doesnt matter already man.

when everything finished i realised i was half dead.

sundae was loved ones day. watch spirit of the victim and ate pasta with my girl. damn horror la the show though some ghosts look the same and retarded. pasta just brigten up her day, i hope it will also for her next week. 1 week very fast de ok? u noe wad i mean. most to most 32 kids?
haha. not yet including twins. always pleasant eating with you. yeah two very happy ppl outside pasta mania. haha..den went home ate again tat mum cooked. haha. yeah felt kinda of blissful.

den i have to fuckin book in again.
and heres where i hate my life.
to hell with the green uniform.

2007-01-02T20:45:00.000-08:00

2007!

ultra early BOOK OUT on fridae. it was an late afternoon but to many of us, it was pure joy man. lol. late evening was a dinner with camp mates which we had it in JB. some seafood. thumbs up. full and totally unmovable. we were like some fat ass sitting on de plastic chairs tat could break cos of the inability to hold our weights.

late night met up my girl.
chilled.
;)

saturdae had steamboat at my girl's relatives place, prepared by her grandma. omg. i guess there was certain shyness or the degree of paisehness that was in me, shucks, im not gonna elaborate, u noe? well we all noe. rock on.

sundae had steamboat again at my girl's fren's place. not so bashful i guess. had pretty much to eat the whole week. oh great. im growing into some japanese sumo wrestler soon. food galore everyday. stay over at my girl's place, slept till nobody's business. hahaa.

late mon noon. met up sec buddies. had a once in a blue moon gathering. drank our hearts out at sembawang yacht club. horrendous man. 10 complete jugs of Tiger. oh so retarded we are. 2 dead and vomitted all over. lol.

had a bad hangover the whole night and den the morning on tues. went down to play soccer still despite brain crack i tink. den met up my girl for lunch! dine at home with mum later on.

love this holidays totally. every single minute was well spent.
seriously, im blogging all this in short form all because im late soon!!!
-.-

promise better and more concrete stuff next week. tata!

2006-12-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

ho ho ho!
merry merry merry christmas.

earliest book out ever from ETI. sigh. poor memory doesnt allow me to remember what time i did but it was like late evening. the feeling was really good. we braved through the "storms" that occured in Spore recently. it was like some natural disasters we prayed for. haha. rain rain rain. everyone was lookin forward to white christmas. we sang LAST CHRISTMAS least ten times a day. haha.

late woke up on sat. 9am. sounds stupid but 9 was like the best i could sleepp most thanks to my army schedule lifeeeeee... no life no life no life la. gonna change posting again soon. god damn it. next week will be my last week in ETI anyway. alright. met up with "xu hua liang" Anthony and gay around in town before meeting up rest for ms cai belated birthday. ate at Carnivore in Vivo.
stomach bloated already in addition to the numerous amount of kinder beuno, snickers, ferrero roche, bika prawn crackers, skittles, Willy Wonka's Nerds, FruitTips me and section mate gobbles during lectures everyday in camp. im gonna be Fat Boy Slim again. ho ho ho!

stayed outdoor from christmas eve eve till christmas todae. what TIRING DAYS it was. hahaha.

christmas eve eve was late out with my girl. and somebody went cranky as usual after some heineken and wine from her party. la la la. nevertheless, it was fun together. didnt manage to sleep till late 4 am. well catch some sleep and blah blah eve came! den there was unnatural disaster again the following day. endless rain came. chilled and ate at subway. saw my god damn section bunk mate with his gf. hahhaa holy shit. lol hes an indian. looks like we encountering some rain unhappiness.

xmas eve was special itself. it my girl's father's birthdae tmml. refering to jesus. ive no idea and not really into religion so lets just wish jesuss happy advance birthdae. blah. saw some PUPPET SHOW.. kind of retarded but puppet show are really rare nowadays. so i think tats worth some applause. wellll.. eve was like too UNFORGETTABLE already latter on.
not to mention our modes of communications. ;)
and saving rest as our privacy.

*secrets*

received call from subhas. chilled out together with him to drink some beer.
3 cans in a row with some portion my girl drank were like already quite a handful for me. somehow was like into concussion. walking not straight. yeahh i always got drunk last time. and whenever iam my body will automatically find a place to sleepppppP!!!! ho ho ho.

well and gonna book in sooonnnnn todae. fuck lah...

merry christmas.

2006-12-17T20:05:00.000-08:00

as i read what i wrote in last entry, i realise im blogging more and more like a girl.

die.

2006-12-17T20:00:00.000-08:00

Courage is grace under pressure.

and last week, guts was all i needed. having two demolition live firing in a week itself is not a simple task. to be exact, any stupid action from anyone could lead to a huge mishap. even dropping something called detonator of size of ard 5cm? BOOMBB!

oh well. saved. safe. then sound.

fun experience. people got fucked everyone will be fucked. up then side and even down. soil flew everyone. was like millions of krytonite coming down to hit you. ( of course you're in shelter lah) no u wun become superman. (lol many of us still dreamt of being one superhero) ; tats how army changed a person. from dumb to dumber.

;)

fridae booked out late as usual. it sucks. so what if timetable are scheduled to finish 1730. the timings are always never met. the unlucky fridays goes on. den there always the lovely saturdays. those mysterious saturdays where i never noe wheere im heading to with my sweetheart. and those eternal depth in her eyes i always stared into and died on the spot. and no idea since i became so picky and fussy on food. maybe cos of too much COOKHOUSE food, taste buds turning uncanny too. nevertheless still ate so much on sat, right? god. no wonder amore got more and more outlets.

The Holiday was such amusing silly show. =P

and my girl is like drinking a little and going cranky already. hahah. rem no alcohol for u. and omg. yah so much <3

and as i switch channels on tv just now. i saw the vasantham the channel. it makes me rather stay in camp. yeahh. its book in time. argh. bye.

2006-12-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

i still hate ns.

haha.
who doesnt?

anyway. i booked out the most fucked up timing on friday. the timing is such that u might as well dont book out. no supper with sweetheart again on friday nights. every friday is like friday the 13th. "for fuck's sake" as one of the staff sergeant always claimed. "for fuck's sake", you have to obey the rules. yeahh all those briefing for live firing on MONDAY. demolition. im doing all those bomb stufff, its worse den firing weapons.. for fuck sake.

-.-

was busy on sat throughout. till late evening,
love the walk down everywhere, anywhere, ms dancer. lol.
love everything lah.. well other stuffs will be like ho ho ho...

please eat EAT eat EAT. rem what i say. and NOT
drink DRINK DRINK drink. i know one.

the christmas mood is here,
all i want for christmas is u.

;)

2006-12-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

i hate ns.

supposingly to book out on fridae at ard 1730 but ends up 20 30 or i dunno wad freaking time. BECAUSE they always like to drag and make u do stupid stuff like AREA CLEANING. AREA CLEANING is cleaning; washing up of the bunk making sure every area of it is free from dirt and dust or even cobwebs. we area clean all day long. morning once. free time also must. even book out again. and because of this, i cant accompany my sweetheart to places.

-.-

well. sat woke up unconsciously. lol. time to go out. and my fucked up sense of punctuality is back. apparently i think i was never on time before. guilt can never overcome this shitty lateness laaaaa. sorry. thankfully, she never complains waitin for me.

<3

i think we were both lovers of walking. how much km we walked ive no idea but i rather have not any imaginations of possible scenerios that we will stop. but spore is so damn boring and small and i enjoyed "Colic" with her the next moment. gross but thrilling show...love watchin wit u...saw hell lots of frends, even my bunk mate tat bitch. hahhaa.. " pretend we nv see one another"

;)

down sheila bbq. happy advance birthdae. old 21st. catch up with shawn, mck, robin and ant. muahhaa. no more gayism.

okae sweetheart, take good care of yourself and dont donate blood.
and drinks LOTS
& LOTS & LOTS of water.
back to the grim reality. its book in time. urgh. and probably gonna be late. god damn.

2006-11-29T11:35:00.000-08:00

i would like to declare 28th nov as a public holiday.
why?
tons & tons of reasons to back it.

lol.

my new bunk got frends from BMT and SISPEC. lol. damn crazy already.

book out from Engineering Training Institute for leave till wed? short but who cares.

fanatically walked 6km? i dunno. ive lost count. from places to places and almost everywhere.

yeah. and got attached.

lol. nobody's gonna understand.

happy 28th nov. tat just happens 12 hours before from the time below.

2006-11-27T00:01:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Pasir Laba camp.. muahhaha. finally 28km route march's over. bslc is over. and i got my corporal rank that comes with sweat and blood and sweat and blood.

quite high when i heard i was posted out from SISPEC. lol. the next destination is NEE SOON CAMP for engineering training institute that i freakin got no idea why a business student is posted there but wad so ever since its kinda near my home so. haha . =) no neeed to travel all the way to JURONG for ASLC. the boring boring course.. zzZZ blah. still its bored to book in on monday for the new place lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... well fuck it. only easy day is yesterdae.. -.-

manutd vs chelsea's up next.

as a gunner supporter, i just hope rooney and drogba break one another's legs.

-.-

2006-11-19T20:55:00.001-08:00

erh. been tryin to upload this duet song. but experience some error. its the best i heard for this year.

zzz nothing much to say.

to those exam candidates, have fun mugging.

to those whose still planning to be a commander or dont be one. just dont be brainwashed by your commander. think smart. your future your life the worth. sometime the lesser responsibility you get, the simpler a life will be.

to whom ever you noe, i suck lah big time. fuckin not the worth.

2006-11-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

20 yrs old finally.

last week in BSLC. Pasir Laba Camp.

if my next course is still there, i will be FUCKING -.-

...pray hard...

2006-11-12T11:58:00.000-08:00

just a funny commerical to share above. i felt its damn creative la.

safe and sound from the section live firing. rounds flying and inches from you. wah the feeling. power lah. but the schedule for the week's training really got me, feeling damn tired exhausted; hardly any will to breathe. zzz

2 more weeks. and FUCK BSLC!!!!!!!!!!! going down tekong the coming week!

2006-11-05T19:27:00.000-08:00

sweet sweet november finally.

8th, 9th and 10th week and tats it. 3 more weeks of shit and tats it on BSLC.

whenever the bus reached the entrance of SISPEC. my platoon usually starts to have wild imaginations. we saw the words, " TO HELL", things lidat and etc.

this week was already damn shiong man. tues have a nights off and coincidental receive a call from mediacorp, tey wanted me to act for some stuff la, oh well.. " sorry leh, im in army.." and the rest is history. den wed to friday was journey to Pulau Tekong. We spent 3 days 2 nights outfield there. if you were to see the bruises on my knees and thighs, you would sympathise me for all man. its almost same as getting aids. those small black spots. zzzzZ.

coming sat will be section live firing! god bless!

2006-10-29T19:00:00.000-08:00

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Extracted from Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars

just kinda reminisce on the old dumb pop songs so uploaded 98degrees. darn boyband la. well, anyone everyone should listen about Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars. the lyrics are fuckin well written. ('',)

days in sispec are not passing as fast as we used to think so. the unity in the platoon is not as cohesive as the platoon during BMT. seriously, i missed all my those fucked up buddies in BMT who dies together everyday. anyway, this's gonna be my 7th week in SISPEC soon. den 8th den 9th and finally 10th and tats Basic Section Leader Course. and tata!! will be posted to other places or other units for another course before becoming a sergeant. for those who wants to become a commander in sispec or wad, think thrice and dont be brainwashed away by your PC in BMT. its plain dumb. i made a wrong move and now in this shit hole with rest of my frends who complained as much as me. with all mentioned, im just enduring my next few weeks.

had some navigation in lower mandai this week. living up to reputation, my whole detail went "hor-lan" almost died inside the forest. tat was a rainy day too. visibility was poor like nobody's business. we all lamented our past lives were owed to the army and now we are paying them back. we saw the poisonous green snake and the tree thorns never let me go still. next week will be having some section training in tekong; field camp for some days. sigh.

den next next week's saturdae will be having section live firing. u noe shooting live rounds with your own section people and chionging together. sounds fun but freaking hell dangerous. not worrying for myself but heart's in the mouth of my section. we all are blur fucks la. well tat week dictates if i still can see myself going past a 20th birth day. next next next week. so "fortuntate" will be having a great birthdae with the army at tekong. sigh for 2nd time. already praying super hard tat still can book out during the late night. even the latest midnight. doesnt matter man. but well, there is no such kind of welfare. sigh+ fuck.

PS: its not we are not man and cant take army life. its tat all of us are sick of this type of life.

HARDCORE PERIOD

2006-10-20T21:01:00.000-07:00

sometimes since i last blogged. alright.

last last week was by far my most diligent week ever.
though how much complaints i have abt my sispec life, i was appointed leader platoon sergeant for my platoon of 40 people. fucked up cos have to command them and make sure they do their things. you noe those commander stuff. i hate shouting at ppl or rush him. hence, i was just kinda welfare but kena fucked upside down by my sergeants. well..

in two days, i burst into joys when my staff sergeant said i could pass my rank to another trainee in my platoon. but within few mins, a new rank is handed to me. the leader sergeant major. LSM of the company. highest rankin trainee in company and guess wad, im gonna lead the company, which i already did last week. 170 people under me to command. stressed and almost dead. almost. imagine parade commandin the whole company. zzzz. den sunday i was the guard duty for coy; had to book in early. damn. fuckin shagged out in my entire life man.

this week was a fast one. everything was all packed. everyday was like 5 hrs of sleep. went navigating in the mandai forest. half body was immersed and swimming like a retarded duck in the mud. thorns of the trees raped almost everyone and im a "hor-lan" king. haaaa..

the hard days are over since coming days are holidays. muahhaha.

2006-10-08T01:39:00.000-07:00

sigh.

2006-10-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

8 more weeks to go.
and smack that! will complete my basic section leader course! cheers : )
funny since people often says this two years are for reflecting wad to do in future.
till now, im still lost. but im sure so are the rest. servin the army certainly makes one grow though where all your freedom are deprived, it makes u think and regret lots of things that you had not done properly in life. if things werent so complicated and tempo of life wun be so fast den that would be great. our phases of life are just like predetermined already. darn. oh well, craps aside and life moves on...

sometimes things dont run so smoothly as it suppose to be. sometimes things happen in the way you dont want to. just like living on a boulevard of broken dreams. trust what you feels most. if you thinks its right, den no one should be able to stop you in doing.

2weeks passed and trillion days not seen, not met. heartache and excruciating pain un-felt. and to come with a sorrowful decision whom no one could comprehend. so near yet so far. time's not ripe and plentiful things left undone. above the scrawny shoulders lies with tons and tons of weights. but things are not ended yet ; they are not.

im just not ready.

2006-09-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

this is it..

another week into the camp.

2006-09-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

might sound pussy, funny or wad. but this blog gonna be some kinda of a kaopeh site from now on. for all odds stack on me, i fucking tell the world i cannot take the shitt stuff anymore man. im damn impressed by how those people could haf the courage to sign on. and daunted by those claimed hes been with the camouflage force for million years and lovin every single bit of it. crazy fucks.

for all i know. my frends all over other units or companies. some are fortunate some are worse off. but my fellows who are same with me but other companies could take no more such colossal amount of stress. you will be intrigued by how much sianzation it can creates. how unintelligent this system can be and why is there such stuff created. omg.

for all hell i know. with all forbearance i prayed i have.. all patience and tolerance i will achieve.. i know i had to struggle my fuckiest to carry on even to breathe the last oxygen that flow through my artery. EVEN ITS NOT WORTH IT.

2006-09-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

many often are impressed if u are able to enter into command sch.

i tell u. Fuck you. its worse den hell.

angels came to my aid. tey let me out finally after one fucking horrible terrible horrigible week. its so hardcore depressing. the most shiong ever. worse hardship than shit. i made a huge mistake by sayin bmtc was lagi jialat. NO NO NO. its wrong. its actualie 10 tiimes far better den sispec. imagine bookin out only on sats and even my birthdae i got some shit dunno wad till night. for once, i fuckin hate myself for going to this place. stress everywhere. fucked up ppl everywhere. seriously, i dont mind a war right now. cos it makes no difference. but at least i noe im defending my love ones. not like now. retarded and getting fucked.

im an angry man now.

with countless help needed.

2006-09-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

this is it.

im going back army...

im feeling it man.

2006-09-15T21:49:00.000-07:00

almighty gods posted me to SISPEC!
u noe SUFFER IN SILENCE PLUS EXTRA CONFINEMENTS.
oh yeah. SISPEC.

im gonna be a sergeant. not clerk not rifleman not combat medic not military police not regimental police or any defendant or any unit boy; nothing to do with armour or artillery but some commander for the future NS boys. muhahaha i swore im gonna tekan those retarded JC guys. fuckin especially those SAJC who acted tall and walked like some mafia big shots when tey visited tekong. muhahaha.

had to book in on monday already... sucksssss!

2006-09-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

before this blog went collapsed, i better start writing something.

i thought i spent a great block leave rotting especially paid with super peanuts allowance of 350 that minus off cents and cents of unknown, mysterious magazines or associations and the kinda-of-cheating insurance bought fearing the only life is taken away. and as the leave start, i had a pizza dinner with mum cos its been quite long ever since i had one together with her. screw the nation's obligation. it takes away everything. especially time. time = money. 2 years = millions of dollars. wadever.

den i had a johor bahru trip. what the fuck. those "regular" beggars are still around. there will always be this guy with the decomposed elephant leg. u symphatise them but u wont get near to them. there is this mother and daughter combo. one leg missing man. blah blah. and those over-friendly cab drivers who looked more like kidnappers. had a stay over at my platoon's frend, subhas' house. some fucker whose borned in spore but stay in JB. he the man lah. so me Ant and him had a more than ever satisfying seafood meal at stulang. 3 people who gobbles food that can be shared by 6 or more. dinosaurs u can call us but our stomach almost rupture. but nothing could stop us from getting the final supper. RAMLY BURGERS. watched JarHeads with ramly burgers. how cool is that? NO ITS NOT. ramly cannot be served cold. damn.

and den rot somemore till sergeant call and say that we had to go back gather at ferry terminal to sign some form. WHAT THE FUCK. how smart is the PEOPLE la. so from north all the way to east. bravin through the stormy weather and sign twice and tats it. feeling dim witted and brainless. i realise my past life i must have AWOL too much. now im returnin them. met up ah gu and mckie after sometime. chilled and dine and went BORDERS. on sale now but the books nowadays suck to core.

alright my posting is out tml. holy god. i really hate my remaining 1 year and 9mths. yucks!
will be back tml to f more :P

2006-09-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

holy shit.

for once, time flies really fast. and ive finally Passed out from BMTC. Cougar Company. missing my fucking platoon tats at top level 5. missing my bed tats rather near to the creepy windows. missing de fucked up toilets that got spoilt shower heads. missing the courageous acts of puffing in the toilets. missing the haunted corridors tats often overflowed with litters thanks to us. missing the regularly pillow fights in the middle of night where i lead bunch of retarded assholes to whack someone who went dreamland already. missing the days tat slack in the bunk. missing my buddy's snores. fucking hardcore. and of cos those outfield days. he didnt let me sleep well. missing the neverending disturbances during bath. seriously its good old golden memories man.

pillowed our sergeants and our platoon commander till there was no struggle. hahaa. and i poured water on PC to summarise our conquer. phew. fun. fun. fun. well. 3mths left a great chapter in my life. but its still damn hard to pass those 3mths. lol. gd luck to those enlistin todae.

had aa great pass out parade yesterdae. weather was just alright. everything was just fine. finally no more chao recruits but privates now. leavin tat jurassic park was kinda of mixed feelings. one part quite unbearable the other just wanna fucked off. sergeants looked quite down. haha emo ppl. having many days break now. damn it.

2006-09-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

8 more weeks to go.
and smack that! will complete my basic section leader course!
cheers : )

funny since people often says this two years are for reflecting wad to do in future. till now, im still lost. but im sure so are the rest. servin the army certainly makes one grow though where all your freedom are deprived, it makes u think and regret lots of things that you had not done properly in life. if things werent so complicated and tempo of life wun be so fast den that would be great. our phases of life are just like predetermined already. darn. oh well, craps aside and life moves on...

sometimes things dont run so smoothly as it suppose to be.
sometimes things happen in the way you dont want to.
just like living on a boulevard of broken dreams.

trust what you feels most. if you thinks its right, den no one should be able to stop you in doing.

2weeks passed and trillion days not seen, not met. heartache and excruciating pain un-felt. and to come with a sorrowful decision whom no one could comprehend. so near yet so far. time's not ripe and plentiful things left undone. above the scrawny shoulders lies with tons and tons of weights. but things are not ended yet ; they are not.

im just not ready.

2006-09-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

8 more weeks to go.
and smack that! will complete my basic section leader course!
cheers : )

funny since people often says this two years are for reflecting wad to do in future. till now, im still lost. but im sure so are the rest. servin the army certainly makes one grow though where all your freedom are deprived, it makes u think and regret lots of things that you had not done properly in life. if things werent so complicated and tempo of life wun be so fast den that would be great. our phases of life are just like predetermined already. darn. oh well, craps aside and life moves on...

sometimes things dont run so smoothly as it suppose to be.
sometimes things happen in the way you dont want to.
just like living on a boulevard of broken dreams.

trust what you feels most. if you thinks its right, den no one should be able to stop you in doing.

2weeks passed and trillion days not seen, not met. heartache and excruciating pain un-felt. and to come with a sorrowful decision whom no one could comprehend. so near yet so far. time's not ripe and plentiful things left undone. above the scrawny shoulders lies with tons and tons of weights. but things are not ended yet ; they are not.

im just not ready.

2006-08-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

just booked out yesterdae in the morning. and it feels just so fucked up to wake up early.
den had to travel north all the way from east. argh.

celebrate iswari's birthday in advance. swensen's again which was like i ate lastt week when celebrating shawn's birthday. den went down town to scout around for hamza's cap. i dont know what happen to orchard. but anthony is complaining all day long he saw millions of shits. looks like its gonna be end of world soon. ate at cream bistro in pacific plaza. de shop manager is a monster. his hair was destroyed by some grenade and he got mascara lipsticks blah blah make up on. -.-

down country club to watch epl. drank beer, blue lagoon. and now my brain kinda hurts. just like the heart man.

countdown to POP. roughly 10 more days.

alright. i like this song i just uploaded. from David Tao's new album, Too Beautiful.

2006-08-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

alright. once back again from jurassic park. spent some days out field again for SIT test. some test to judge if u are good to become some commanders for the army.

walked like 12km to reach destination. good enough to make many expose their true colours when they are shagged. when people are shagged they tend to be selfish and care for only their own. wah bitch. but its all human nature. centipedes and uncanny lizards can be seen everywhere. food rations were not consumed completely due to the taste. abrasions and bruises all over. one pair of uniform for the 3 days. we stink worse than rubbish dumps. blurred vision caused us to be oblivious of the mosquitoes around. weather was a killer. hot & cold as and when the sky is happy. to summarise, many almost die in jurassic park again.

but tough times dont last, tough men do. im 2 more weeks to POP.

EPL started yesterdae. oh great my Arsenal draw with Aston Villa yesterdae. what a resistance game it was from Villa.

2006-08-13T03:03:00.000-07:00

back. bback . back. from an almost-death week. true true true.
hope rest of the year willl be smooth ahead den.

threw grenade earlier in the week. shockwave was powerful. but everyone's lives were at stake. but nothing went wrong. fun and blah blah. got a short break from the National Day. was given a day break but wasnt given any chance to watch the parade. makes no sense.

came back. lightheaded. dont feel well. woke up with a fever of 38.8, continue with exercise and stuff. due to basic assault course. gotta to do it or else had to retake. fucked up. tolerate, my tolerance level had reached the maximum level already. my temperate manage to drop to 37.4
however sergeant wanted to see the temperature before his eyes, so i had to run up 5 levels to get my thermometer. as a i dashed out of the training shed, a van was driving towards my right direction. and bang! tat van screeched to halt. and the butch driver look retardily shocked.

i was too shagged to do anything. if public i will have fuck him or her. i-dont-know! butch!

sound ssilly rite. bang and how come im still here typing. but the whole company was stunned too. the sound was caused by my arm and the front of the van. i didnt fell down also. no feeling at all. superhuman u may think but i dont know wad really happen man. lifes fucked up anyway.

after BAC, fever came back. no choice had to see the medical officer for the first time. the whole person i ever seen in my life. no sense of urgency no sense of efficiency. and best part when i was already 38.7 degrees, i wasnt allow home. but only light duties. wao.

that night's sleep in bunk was horrendous. wee hours peeing was more frightening den anything. shower water can be heard. stupid thoughts everywhere. legs turned elephant and cant move. oh well, survive it and here im back.. back home.

2006-08-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

its been long man. ever since my last update.

alright people. two weeks back i spent some confinement days. one week of serving the obligation and one FUCKING week of field camp. so theoreotically i had gone through the shit week without bathing and losing communications with the outside world.

Field Camp.

obese wild boars charging into tents, breaking free into wires, gorging field bags loaded with sordid food rations. so lucky i was named to do my guard duty on my first day of Field Camp. carried with heavy flu and slight fever, i sat at some uneven ground with my guard duty mate. nope. there was not a slightest movement. no Fatimah Rockers either. no women screeching; no babies wailing; only exceptionally reeking smell from the latrine which im so LUCKY to help out with. i digged the shit HOLES. the number of houseflies was dreadful. and with some REALLIE-FUCKED-UP people who dont cover the shit holes with the soil. they made the whole place like open area for shitting. bitch.

field camp is just like so damn shagged life with no water at all. i almost died. swear. but i noe theres always this person who acts as my motivation to carry on. yeah. even till now though things had to go other ways. theres no choices.

Live Range.

Shooting the real rounds. well. balls shrink. loud noises. waiting like a retard. what else? but its over. aint gonna be any marksman after some night blindness experience. fuck. my basic military training are soon to be over. great.

outside to the mainland. misery everywhere. things werent the way they were. and all i could do was to lessen the unhappiness; let go. letting go the motivation.

har. :(

2006-07-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

the horrible week had been over.
there was fuckings and screamings everywhere.
everyone was losing control.

learnt stuff on the rifle. kinda of interesting but definitely not nice.
alot of hands on to do and techiques. we all hate it.
Rain dont come always. freaking hot weather does.

my buddy found long hair on his bed. yah man.
finally some happening things.

arggh... there were plentiful of things happened lah. but due to the clashes in the timing that i had to book in. i cant pen down much. so fucked up!

byeeeeee..

had to stay in for 2 weeks in camp again.

this time im off for field camp.

goodbye.

miss you, love.

be back with stories.
both haunting and those in field.
as promised.

2006-07-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

welfare welfare welfare.
was entitled to watch the finals last night.
but an hour more to book in.

feeling weak man. world cup really made people fever.
the little hours of sleep due to late timing of matches.
oh well. Italian won in Penalties. Zidane went mad and just lose it. Cannavaro played an outstanding match throughout. If you were to notice, Italians are the most charming players around. Not becks or christiano. No no. anyway. new world Cup champs. no more samba crap. or german dogs.

if you can wait, you'll be what im lookin for.

2006-07-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

finally soccer session after 3 long fucking weeks.

played like a duck in the street soccer court. so long since i kicked a ball.
sprained my right ankle. oh great. probably gonna attend B tml in camp.

jjust realise my 5 bruises all over my arms looked really stupid.
cos its comes from fightin in the bunk. everydae we punch one another, thats how our life gets going.

should be confined till next sundae. cos life sucks.
till then, see you on World Cup Finals.

2006-07-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

as mentioned. my company brings welfare.
getting privileges like booking on friday night is a great one.
though sick and tired, nothing can beat the booking-out feelings.

still clinging onto my "tekong cough" and frequent fevers, i met Ant out of the blue on the friday night for some World Cup matches. Germany VS Argentina. Italy VS Ukraine. i had no fucking idea how Germans won. but then, the ball is round and they won by penalties; the most disgusting way to distinguish the winning team. Italy surpass my expectations and i was amazed by the style of passing. the 3-0 scoreline states it all. go Italy!

after sleeping late at 6am. i woke up the next day at 11am when someone call. i cant remember who. but my brain almost cracked. then i met up oShao and oGene. We went down town and looked lost again. enjoyed some cafe cartel and their glass cups smelled as usual. they smelled of wet, unwashed rugs. sorry im very sensitive to such things. well. and down to the country club to watch England VS Portugal match. i dont really supports England. my heart is always with Spain and France. but this match i strongly hope that England would had won. i watched it with oGene, oShao, Mckenzie, Shawn & Anthony. The three lads who came down later on.

When England players misses their penalties, i felt for them.

i refused to be fazed by the strong support from ladies for Christiano Ronaldo. i appreciate ladies who enjoy the football game BUT not ladies who support human players. yeah we all noe Christano look fuckin handsome but look how retarded he is when he scores the penalty and how cb he is to go make Rooney sent off. And i hate those aunties that watch soccer just because they gamble.

duh -.-

France won brazil 1-0. yeahh. crap samba.

2006-06-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

time flies faster than superman.

i refer to the time that was spent outside the civilian world than the time inside "jurassic park".

i'll never forget my first day.
totally mixed feelings.
everyday was just looking forward to the next day.

in "jurassic park", every sentence starts with the word "cb" and ends it with "fuck off". in a totally hardcore vulgarities world, learning the word " charlie brown" is inevitable. no matter how civilised u are, somehow you will say it. u dont expect soldiers to say, " please, take cover."
normally, its " cb fucker, take cover lah, na bei" .

oh well. suicidal thoughts tend to be on everyone's minds. there will be souls wandering around the corridors looking out to the skies. there will souls walking around finding for things. its a sad sad situation. as usual, there are haunting stories in there. well, somehow its kinda of scary and true cos i experience too. from laughing cupboards to blood stain on ceiling fan. it always happens. but im just a worn-out soldier. the amount of sleep given is as much as the amount of allowance paid per hour. about 50 cents? haha.

oh well. its not too bad actualie. pretty lots of welfare. but then, though how much i had adjusted to the life, i dont like it man. i mean we dont like it man. but its an obligation. too bad. regardless of wad, we still have to protect right. sigh.

its kinda of sick inside. ppl cough. ppl flu. ppl fever. its a trend man. first day i cough till the day i book out. i got a flu then. and later i got a fever. probably illnesses are also adversely affected by the emotions gathered. when people just throw an atomic bomb on you suddenly. its equivalent to throwing one in hiroshima. cos u noe the world had ended. suddenly. suddenly. how upset and depressed you goes, how stupid you wept, fucked hell people will noe. cos all the fucking heart lies in others. all the fucking promises and trust were nothing more than deceptions.

anyway its just hours to another book in.
bye.

2006-06-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

inside camp. cough like fuck.

tolerate and tolerate. dont want to fall sick. cos' i just wanna come out.

book out. received some messages. things like knives stabbin in ur heart.

damn weak now.
having fever and flu.

whats the point of booking out.

2006-06-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

"platoon four watch your front"

"platoon four se di yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

this is only the preview.
im back.

2006-06-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

alright. moments have arrived. mummy gonna cry. her boy gonna be a man.

woke up in midst of the greatest sleep i ever had since i dont-know-when. i was too exhausted man. shawn called me at freaking 9am to remind there is K-Box later. the weather is so cool u couldnt get up man. but so weird, i dont feel like sleeping anymore. because i know, my time is up.

spent the session with mckenzie & joy and to freaking wait at sembawang for shawn. can u believe it? i wait for people. im the one tat was contracted with compulsive punctuality disorder waited for a person! oh pre NS men always change.

wadever.

erhm had a lunch cum dinner. wad do u call this? lunner? i dont know lah. ate at weird timings. was at S11. played our pool games as usual. those were my poly days man. then, time's up. gotta set our directions right. things had to move on. a little look at my watch. im like 15 hours away. yeahh kinda nervous.

home sweet home. almost wept when i realise mum actualie made bird nest for me. even though was already fuckin full, i drank the whole giant bowl and gulp that bowl of bird urine. man its damn sweet. yeah his son gonna be a man soon.

received numerous wishes. thanks people. i think i felt like crying already. fuck you all man. damn touched. i guess everyone had to leave one day. watch that Guess 3 show and just happen to see Ah Ya leavin also. to new york for 10yrs. when jacky sang a goodbye song to her. damn emo. but seriously, you ppl made me damn motivated to go in the camp. thanks a million. u ppl the man.

ah to all my friends.
you guys fucking take good care ah.
eat more fruits and vegetables okae.

ah to my girl.
u better remember what i say.
u the biggest rock in my heart i cant drop.
other than tat,
stay happy.

alright people. this my last flight out.
be back in two weeks.
kinda old school but its nysnc's this i promise you.

2006-06-09T01:46:00.000-07:00

this is probably my 2nd last entry.

woke up. yeahh its my last two days. my desk is still messy and my bag is not yet packed. so i start my search for the enlistment letter. fucked shit, cant locate it too. i guess its just hidden somewhere. oh well, decided to get somemore ARMY grey shirts cos' gene friend says its not enough.

his friend cried twice a night. once is when he called his mum. second was when he called his girlfriend. hahaha what the.

Army market, the sales people are damn aggressive. we are just civilians trying to get some life remaining and they almost took away ours. chill a little while more with shao & gene before moving to Breeks to dine with my "pet" owner, ruie and her "pet" pussy pooh aka ba-ba. time is really precious. i learn to treasure every second and not to take things for granted. at least for now.

alright ba-ba, nothing's the end yet man. cheers. all this maketh a man. but u asshole stunned me suddenly. u the man lah. and take good care my pet owner. make some hairy babies along the way lah. muahahha.

yeah smile. i guess if u reallie takes the effort to smile. u'll feel better.
i'll be back with my last entry tml.
will be a good one. so stay tuned.

2006-06-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

ladies & gentlemen,

rascal flatts. what hurts the most.

2006-06-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

so 6/6/06 was just a myth.
nostradamus is a man with lies. just like anybody on this earth.
end of world didnt come. but well, time passed fast again.

poseidon, da vinci, benchwarmers, omen, nun.
throughout the weeks i became a movie-goer.
i guess i wasnt gonna have any chance watchin any movies once im in.

threw my time away again. cos i dont know who to give.
even if i do, nobody wants it.
chill down at starbucks with gene. my fellow 10th june enlistee.
pretty much thoughts. contemplating and getting upset too.

" and finally, he chose to leave, for the better, her happiness. " that was his ending unfortunately.

often told it was merely 2 weeks. easier say than done. who noes wad will happen in 2 weeks? anyway lets not argue. as far as im noe, my concern is not abt me.

meanwhile, i did palm readings with gene. we were two bored men.
im gonna live till 50 to 60. haha.

You are a pragmatic hand type. Being practical, all your decisions are rational and well thought over. You are extremely self-assured, levelheaded and dynamic. Consistency in approach marks the fulfillment of your ambitions. But this regimen-approach sometimes kills the fun.

Your index finger is short. This makes you a dependable team player. A position of command is not for you. But you do have a keen eye for detail. You can be impulsive; not all your moves are quite rational. Look out! Stress could get the better of you. Your index finger being longer than your ring finger points to you being realistic but aggressive at the same time. Yet, you are not able to stand your ground at times. Your sense of judgement is finely balanced. Your middle finger being longer than the adjoining fingers in length signifies an even view towards life. You are extremely organised; seldom ever do you 'come apart' in any situation. You seem to have all stages of your life worked out to the last detail, and possess an unbiased and sagacious personality. You evaluate and analyse all your actions towards achieving your goals in life and get there through sheer dedication and will power. The top of your ring finger is in level with the base of the fingernail of your middle finger. You are a sweet talker and can seduce most people and bend them to your will. But this style may have only short-lived results! Since your little finger is set lower than your other fingers, you encumber and impede your own life. The pursuit of goals seems unimportant to you and hence you make no effort to reach out. Your little finger reaches above the first flexure line (joint) of your ring finger. You have the gift of the gab and can talk endlessly - all you need is a listening partner.

you are a pragmatic hand type. Being practical, all your decisions are rational and well thought over. You are extremely self-assured, levelheaded and dynamic. Consistency in approach marks the fulfillment of your ambitions. But this regimen-approach sometimes kills the fun.

You have a moderately long lifeline; the period between 50 and 60 years is an unpredictable phase in your life. Exercise extra care during that phase. You are a wanderer and are comfortable about dwelling away from the family. You are farsighted and know exactly what to do with your life. Innovations fascinate you as long as they are positive.

Your headline is totally in contact with your lifeline. Your childhood was hemmed in due to your dominant parents. This could result in repercussions in times to come. Your headline has a single ending. Your analysis is generally biased as your mind is closed to looking at all facets of an issue. No other individual can influence your thoughts. Your headline is medium straight. You are a highly rational individual. You are thought oriented and never act before thinking it through.

You are a solid person with fantastic reserves of energy. A doting parent and loyal friend, you are very protective towards those whom you love. Make sure you don't overdo this. The commitments you make are for keeps.

Being a resourceful individual, you are realistic and sensible, and endeavour to adopt an objective approach to all your decisions and ideas. Inventions motivate you.

thurs & fri & bye.

2006-06-07T02:49:00.000-07:00

farewell my street soccer brothers.
and sunday was my last warcry of santiago at the court.
my last few goals scored and the last time i wrap the red shirt around my head like red riding hood.
i was told, " hey isnt ur last game lah. knn "
well. life's unpredictable man.
enjoyed myself.

dine with gene, lun, shao.

mondae was a wasted day. wanted to get the stuff i needed for NS. didnt got.
gene, shao and i watched Xmen. i thought it reminded me of NSmen.
im sleeping lesser so that i have more hours.
everyone just got 24hrs. im no exceptional.
i felt its just like armagedon now.
every moment is so much cherished now.

tuesday was a 6/6/06. devil's day.
gene & i went to bugis's guanyinma temple to pray. i admit i wasnt the best devotee around. ( cos i ate beef) but i think guanyinma had been with me since young. i trust her most.
all i wanted was some peace. and smooth-sailing life in NS.

day ended on a ultra low note.

hai.

wonder why i was treated such way.
its just a mere few days away.
i tuat all i wanted to do was simple.

my already-ns-bound frend, ah gu msged me. he claimed to had shed 5kg already. he jus went in last fridae. and hes damn sad with his life. bitch, i actualie called him to make myself more upset. what a dumbo i was.

awaiting armagedon.

2006-06-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

day day back. did something silly. so i threw away.
day back ask something too. didnt got a answer wanted. pretty emotional after that. chatted with someone else far from spore.
and today receive the great answer i ever heard.

a simple. yes.

i'll reveal the code soon.

5days to go. friends pls dont tell me the nation needs me.

2006-06-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

awoke. its a 3rd june finally.

slept late last night. time was around 5:30 am. couldnt doze off. but somehow i did. woke up at 9 am plus. to realise its 3rd june todae. so thereotically, another 6 more days. my friend, ah gu had went in. first among us to endure the new world of paradise. the place of no connections.

i got the fuckiest dream last night. its so gay i actualie wept. cos my pillow is wet. muahhaa i dreamt i was gonna leave! yeahh those parting scenes as usual. u noe from those people u care. aye damn gay. but when u gonna leave lidat, emotions run man. and plus when things lidat happen last night.

people always say its just two weeks. but its 2 years. there wont be life for 2 years. so wad if u comes out every weekends, u still have to book in the very next minute. does it reallie matters when u come out?

at this moment, i may sound like a threat to the nation's security. but actualie im speaking from the point of view from a super slack civilan who had still not clean up his room.

okae actualie i dont know what to do.